Gran Hermano

In this country, if a guy is from anywhere in Asia, the people are going to call him Chino (Chinese). And if he looks Arabic, he will be called Turco (Turk), as Fernando, whose grandparents are Lebanese, is called. That’s just the way it is. They aren’t as bad as in other countries I’ve been to about giving a person a name based on their physical appearance, like in Mexico where “gordo, pelon, güero (fatty, baldy, blondy)” I think are pretty well accepted. They do use flaco (slim) pretty regularly, but as a form of address to a stranger, usually young and probably slim. “Hey flaco, do you know where Plaza Peligrini is?” Used similarly is the word maestro, a word that could mean teacher or master or one of those orchestra-conducting fellows. The guy at the copy shop always calls me that, though I’m not sure if he’s calling me that because he is always copying my schoolwork or not.

Last night Lou and I were watching Gran Hermano (Big Brother). We hate this show, and I don’t think we’ve watched it all season. But it was 12:00 and I was flipping channels (we only have two channels, remember) and I saw that something different was happening, something different than young hotties chain-smoking and speaking so fast and slangy that we don’t understand. There was a split screen. On one side, Gran Hermano Argentina. On the other side; Gran Hermano Paraguay. Gran Hermano Paraguay was a lower budget operation. It wasn’t in a house but a studio made to look like a house. Instead of cleverly-placed cameras all over the place, they had cameramen stationed on the side of the room that was missing a wall. Another odd thing was that they had a ‘chino’ exchange participant from Gran Hermano Japan. Koiji didn’t speak a word of Spanish. Anyway, the host of GH Argentina initiated a contest between the two casts. A contest in quickly solving math problems on a white board. He read long multiplication and division questions for a team member to write down. Whichever team solved it first won a point. Koiji didn’t understand what was going on until his teammate finished writing the math problem. He gestured for the long-haried paraguayo to hand over the marker, then proceeded to quickly write the answer, 1293 or something. He did this three times in a row: saw the problem, asked for the pen, quickly wrote the answer. Paraguay 3 – nil. We said goodbye to the dejected Argentines and went on the the playoff with GH Spain. They did manage to get one point because Koiji didn’t understand the question once, but they ended up losing to GH Paraguay. Now we wonder if Koiji was brought in as a ringer, some rain man math whiz to get revenge on Argentina taking Iguazu after the War of the Triple Alliance. No matter what, I think that Koiji’s example should be a lesson to all xenophobes who oppose immigration. Also, can anyone Tivo GH Paraguay for me?