El Beso

Dan: Something that has become so commonplace that I didn’t really think to mention it is el beso. People greet each other with a cheek-to-cheek kiss. The kiss is usually in the air, but is sometimes actually planted upon the cheek, and is accompanied by a smacking sound (which I just can´t get myself to do). Kisses are mandatory woman-to-woman and woman-to-man. Men usually greet each other with a handshake, but the younger crowd is kissing guy-to-guy in informal situations. In some situations we’ve gotten the kiss on each cheek.
If you arrive at a party, you should probably make the rounds and kiss everybody, whether you know them or not. Again the same as you leave. Maybe people are out so late here because it takes so long to say goodbye, especially if you feel the need to double-cheek it.

I would say that we Minnesotans have had mixed success in adapting to the culture of physical contact. The man-kiss remains awkward for me. I went to a movie with a guy the other night and he greeted me by planting one on my cheek, but he didn’t buy me popcorn. So, for me there is that awkward moment with men, in which I don’t know if the handshake will suffice or if they’re going to go for the cheek kiss. In that way Lou has it easier, needing to kiss (touch cheeks with) everyone. Still, she is a little bit shy about working the room when we decide to leave a gathering. There are still nuances that we need to find the courage to ask people about; what to do with our hands, do we stand up to kiss if we are sitting down? But we’ve got the general concept down. Someone was telling us about a U.S. high school student here recently who, having heard about the kiss greeting, began to kiss the boys right on the lips when meeting. I’ll bet she was popular.

Anyway, please don’t think that we are getting fresh if we get home and do something weird we see you. It might take us some time to get back to respecting the Midwestern personal space. Can you imagine what would happen if I started to kiss, as I do here, all my female students, colleagues and supervisors in a Minnesotan school? It has really become a habit, and polite manners. As foreigners I suppose people would understand if we didn’t kiss them, which sometimes happens, but we’re trying to fit in as best as we can.

We´re leaving on a very long bus trip tomorrow night, something like 36 hours. Dear Readers, this may be my last entry as the Dan you know, for can´t help but imagine that I will be a changed person after spending a day and a half in a reclining chair. Farewell.